Moments and Messages

I believe that some of the neatest blessings are reserved for women who sacrifice. When something you’ve been trying to teach for so long finally sticks, or that tiny smile on a child's face late at night, can have the answers to so many of your prayers. It can tell you things straight from God you've been waiting so long to hear, or just remind you of a few important things that you forgot about how wonderful you are and how aware and how much He loves you...

 It's 1 am, and I look over to see two gorgeous doe eyes staring right at me. "hey you!" I say with a soft voice and a big smile. Her eyes brighten and her lips pull back into a gorgeous gummy smile, like me saying hi to her just made her life. The smile stays and she just keeps looking straight into my eyes.

  A week ago, Alex and I were playing with Nhiya, our 7 week old daughter. Enjoying being a new family and Nhiya's new ability to smile. And one point we get quiet and just look at Nhiya with such amazement that she is ours! Suddenly her eyes brighten, and her lips soften into a huge smile, looking back and forth at me and Alex. My eyes welled up with tears. This wasn’t the first time Nhiya had smiled at us, but this was the first time there was a message with her smile. - First off, let me say that I know that everyone has a spirit. I believe that that spirit is the same spirit we had before we came to this life. I know that that same spirit grew in intelligence and learned and lived with God before we came here to be housed in mortal bodies so we can experience hands on good from bad and choose for ourselves. I also believe that children are born innocent, and their spirits are more connected to their spirits and you can see it in their eyes and feel it by being in their presence.- With that being said, the message was that she was happy she chose us. She was happy being a family with Alex and I. It might seem like we just met, but we knew each other before. I knew I chose right.  Heavenly Father also spoke to me through her. Not with words but with a feeling, as He usually does. If that feeling had words, it would say: “ You are doing a good job and I am proud of you two. I knew I could trust this little one with you two. You have made me so very pleased.”

In the quiet moments of this night, looking over into her gorgeous light filled eyes staring at me, depending on me for all of her needs, and she smiles. She smiles without provocation. She smiles with a message again. Stronger than usual, maybe my soul has been wanting to hear it and it’s just been so busy and so loud I haven’t taken the time to hear it...           

  It says, "you have no idea how much I love you. Simply"

Mothers are called to bare a unique cross. Each of us a different kind at different times in our life. Strains and trials of the mind, the heart, the body, the spirit, etc. Our tender hearts can sometimes hurt more when someone we love is hurt or wronged, more than we would if it were us. By nature we are called to a divine sacrifice as mothers. First responders to matters of the heart, even when we don't think we have the strength or the knowledge to do so. So many have mothers needed to sacrifice one way or another. Something I have come to know through my mission, and I have felt the translation over to motherhood, even though I am new to it, is that the sweetest and grandest touching blessings are RESERVED for those exact women who answer that divine call of sacrifice. Whether your children are biological or not, whether you consider your Sunday school class like your children or not, whether it’s your niece nephew or friends, whatever your stewardship, those blessings are there and just as laser guided and sweet. He asks so little of us in the grand scheme of things yet, when you feel that pull of the spirit in moments of tender mercies with your children, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice anymore. It was only giving back what was His in the first place. That is when we truly feel the purpose of being here on this earth and serving others and our Master in its purest form. That is when we feel the tender blessings that are only reserved for women who sacrifice.

Becca's Journal 11-11-12

Our little first child is on the way, and it seems so far away, 4.5 weeks, yet with how busy Alex and I are, the days are so few with time we can’t even fathom being completely ready in such a short amount of time. I love that people seeing my belly it makes them smile, makes them inquire on the dates and such, and makes them think back to their precious memories of their babies being born. Being born is a big deal man! It comes with so much responsibility to the parents and eventually to you. I ponder on the fact that we are so blessed to have the opportunity to be entrusted with such a sweet little girl. I already feel her personality and that is such a simple and treasured gift of mine. Sometimes I find it hard to imagine she’s a baby.  I think about her birth. The time when she is no longer completely controlled by me. The time when bad things can happen to her, the time when the greatest joys will happen to her. One of her most important days, presenting herself to this earth to prove that she is worthy and will fulfill what she promised her Father and Mother in heaven she could do. Its so bizarre to think about. I feel like a child myself and yet we are being given a child to teach and raise in a way I hope to be approved by my Father and Mother in heaven and here on earth. Nhiya will do great things, she might not be the president one day, or the prophet’s wife,  or a doctor, but I know that the impact she will have on our lives will be great. Her potential can already be felt by me, and her spirit was chosen to impact lives in the greatest of ways. The simple ways that help ordinary people to the world realize the extraordinary individual they are to their Father in Heaven.  And that is great.

Catch a Smile! :)

It's amazing what a smile does to the soul

If youre ever having a bad day, just watch a baby smile!!Better yet, watch my baby smile!! I was so excited to catch this. She's so Gorgeous!!!

Nhiya's First Bathing Experience!

 It was a trip and a half to get this little girl a stinken bath!!! The nurses wouldnt have a bath the first day because she wasnt eating. She would latch but not suck. She was just so tired, so was mommy. After half a day of many different specialists and nurses trying to help but not getting anywhere, all we wanted was to wash off the stuff from her birthing experience the day before. This might not sound like a big deal to anyone else, but to us, that was our goal! After a few nurses came in and out of their shifts, we finally got one feeding in, which is what they asked in order for her to get a bath. Then the Nazi nurse of the century came in and dashed all our hopes of a bath for our sweet dirty little girl and said she needed to be able to have another full feeding!

Well poop on you nurse!! How would you like womb boogies on you all day and night and still try to be able to eat eh?! So I gave her a quick bathe down with wipeys and eventually we got another short feeding out of her. Finally they saw fit to give her a bath. I was excited for Alex to do her first bath. 

 As you can see Nhiya LOVED it! haha. She sure is cute when she's mad!

As you can see by Alex's best hairdo and finely shaved face, 

 

we got a lot of sleep there at the hospital!

She seemed to calm down and really like when he washed her hair and scrubbed her little scalp-y

Mesmirized by Daddy. So grateful for his gentle touch

 Alex went to give her a kiss and she started sucking on his nose instead :)

Finally a beautiful womb-boogie free baby!!!

Watching Bones with mommy in the hospital bed.

Peek-a-boo!!

Her hair went all fuzzy after her bath. Seems silly, but I thought it was soo cute!

Daddy's eyes

She looks like a black baby here

Mamma's nose

Hairy shoulders

Cuddle time with mommy! This is still her favorite position to sleep and to cuddle and she still holds onto your shirt the whole time.

My little stinkers thinker....

 Getting all of our stuff ready to go and finally take this parenting solo! Not scary at all!

Coming Home!!!

He's a Daddy!!!!!!

Nhiya's Birth Story

 On December 8th, 2012 at 9:15 am, my water broke. At least that's what I figured happened. It was also the morning of my baby shower that my mom was throwing for me.

When my water broke, it actually relieved a lot of pain I was having, so we just went on with our day. I went to the baby shower while Alex went and helped his dad move some stuff.

About an hour and a half later, harder contractions started, but not hard enough to go anywhere. The guests kept coming. We opened a gift early, which was a birthing ball, and that was my throne for a bit.

Soon, the contractions started coming stronger, so we called the doctor and he decided to have us come in.

Since this was my first baby, they didn't believe me when I said my water broke. So they said they had to check me to make sure. I really didn't want to go home with the amount of pain I was in and knowing it could get worse.

 

They let me stay, we got a room and we called out Doula to come. Contractions got worse. I used breathing techniques and visualizations to help distract myself. 

 Things got way more intense, and I opted for an epidural. I didn't feel it, but it might have been because I was having a contraction while he was doing it and I was just focused on being still during it.
They gave me a tiny bit of pitocin to help me dialate faster. I got stuck at a 6 for a few hours. With in 45 min of them doing that, I was ready to start pushing.

  Alex was amazing the whole time! I thought I would be a grumpy crazy woman yelling and telling him not to touch me the whole time, but all I wanted was him by me holding my hand.

 Alex was amazing at helping. He got to be front and center, which he didnt mind at all. His voice was the only one I could hone in on while I was pushing. He would get so excited seeing her head start to crown and it would just push me more to push harder. <3

 Unfortunately for my dislocated tailbone, the epidural didn't touch that pain, so the whole time i could feel Nhiya pushing on it the whole way out. It helped me push harder to make the pain stop and know how and where to push better.

  I was so focused on pushing to make the pain stop, that when they told me to stop pushing and to look down, I saw Nhiya's head, and literally said to myself, "Oh yeah! I'm pushing out a baby!" It was the first time in about 10 hours that I had really opened my eyes to see anything. I was so focused on not letting the pain get the best of me.

After an hour and a half of pushing, she finally came!!!!!!!! She had swallowed a lot of amniotic fluid so she didnt cry for a bit. She had shoulder distotia (sp?) but other than that was a perfect baby girl!!

The new Johnson family!!!!!

New grandparents!!

 {NHIYA KAYE LOUISE JOHNSON} {12.8.12}{9:54pm}{8lb12oz}

Our family and love has expanded in ways we cannot even begin to describe. It is a truely divine and spiritual experience having a child. Not to mention a pretty big physical, emotional, and mental one as well. However painful and long suffering it is, Nothing outweighs the pure joy and mesmirization that comes when you finally get to hold in your hands a spirit that God has seen fit to entrust you with. And all the things you dreamed of becoming, parents, a mother, a father, finally get to happen. How amazingly scary and beautiful it all is.
   All because 2 people fell in deep abiding love!!!!